So I've had a rough week this past week. I'm not going to lie, this picture pretty much sums it up. I let the world get to me this past week. Life decided to life all over me and instead of fighting back, I let it take me down.
Last Sunday was the day that life life-ed all over me and Monday I woke up super sore. Like I could barely move my neck and shoulders. I bowed out of Monday Fit Club (which is unheard of for me) and instead chose to watch the kiddos. I guessed that a lot of my issues with my neck was stress (as that's usually where we hold all our tension) so I used the time to journal. That helped a bit. I took myself to the hot tub at the fitness centre and later on that night put more heat on it.
Tuesday it was worse. WAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse. I didn't sleep well as every movement was painful and by Tuesday morning I couldn't even lift my head. I was lucky hubby was home to be domestic for me and get the kiddos out the door, but I did eventually have to get going. I had a business I needed to take care of, so I did what I needed to, and later on, once the kids were in bed, a good friend come and hang with me and just sitting and talking made a world of difference.
Wednesday I wasn't as sore, but made an appt with Magic Hands Meghan, my amazing massage therapist and friend and learned that my pecs where so tight that they were screwing with my back and neck. She worked a lot of them out and i felt tons better. Physically, that is. Emotionally, I was still brooding under a black cloud. Went to Fit Club Wednesday night and worked out hard.
Thursday morning I lead a fit club and kicked not only everyone elses arse, but my own. Again. I got a good shower in that made me feel half normal and went to hang out with my awesome friend again. We chilled and patched our kiddos pants with creative patches (I love Pinterest for that stuff!) and then after picking up my kiddos from school, we went home and crashed out on the couch for the next few hours.
Friday was the day that I really fell apart. I was so physically exhausted from back to back intense workouts and so emotionally drained from carrying my junk around with me that I didn't leave the couch until my husband made me. And then I kinda blahed through the rest of the day until I could change back into my PJ's and lounge on the couch again, watching tv.
Saturday..... oh Saturday. I basically slept all day. I slept on the couch Friday night as my hubby and kiddos had taken over my bed. I woke up long enough to have a bit to eat, watch a couple shows with my girls, and then promptly fell back asleep for the rest of the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon. I didn't move from the couch other than to use the bathroom. I had no drive, no energy, no will to function. I was toast.
I will also mention here that I ate like absolute junk this week. I purposely went to the grocery store and bought junk food at the beginning of the week. I bought chips and chocolate. I downed most of it on my own. I was done with this healthy lifestyle thing. I was sick and tired of it all, and, dammit, i was going to live the lifestyle part of it all! I was so tired of being on all the time, eating all the right foods at all the right times. I was mentally exhausted and sick and tired of choosing to not eat the crap foods. I missed the crap foods. So I ate them. Chips, cupcakes (gluten free, of course), loaf cake (also GF), popcorn loaded in butter, candy, chocolate... I ate it all throughout the week. I did not consistently have my shake every morning. I did not keep my water intake up. I did not eat good, clean, body fueling foods that give me energy. I didn't even take my tablets properly, only when I remembered through my foggy sleepy coma.
Today, Sunday, I decided would be better. I didn't truly want to, but at some point I needed to get my crap together. And there was no one around to do it for me, and I wanted certain things, so if I wanted them I was going to have to get off my arse and go get them. We did miss church due to sheer laziness as I was awake around 7 am, but I finally decided that at 10 we were getting ready to go out. I also made my shake this morning, took my tabs and got my crap together. Showered, got dressed, got me and the kids out and did some grocery shopping. Restocked the good yummy foods in my house and then headed out for a team training at 2, loaded up with snacks and an extra shake for myself. It was the best decision I could have made for myself.
Looking back on my week I can see how my mindset got in my way, and that is going to happen. Because as a wise woman once said, "Life is going to life all over you every chance it gets, so you gotta know what you want so you can stay the course," but I can also see how my food choices made a huge impact on how my week went. Those junk foods I wanted so bad only contributed to my feeling like crap. Which, naturally, fed into the crappy mindset. I also didn't get up at my usual 5am and do my personal development, which had a HUGE impact on how my week went. I didn't use my skincare consistently either, and now my skin is paying the price. They say hindsight is 20/20 and OMG, is it ever!!
I learned so much about my lifestyle and about how I want to live this past week. I went into my training today looking to be re-inspired, and I was! I swear, some of those people were talking directly to me! But today, my choices fueled my day to be better and it was! It was much better! And I want more better days. Did I maybe need a week of feeling like crap to help me gain some perspective? It's entirely possible. Sometimes the universe lets you get a good arse kicking to see if you're really ready for the next awesome thing it's going to bring. I think I also needed this week to see the importance of balance. I've been struggling to find that over the past months and I just got burned out. When I went back to how it used to be, I was miserable, which let me see the difference the changes I'd been making in my life really were making. And it let me choose again which direction I wanted to go in. And I'm excited to go that way again!! No, I don't have it all figured out, but I'm reenergized and looking forward to figuring it out.
A fabulous and truly inspirational lady, Jill Addy, said this today to us over training, and I want to leave it with you because it really rang true for me today:
What's good isn't behind you. The best hasn't happened. The best is yet to come! So keep looking forward, keep focusing on the future because it's going to be freaking awesome and you'll never get there if you spend your life like a driver driving through the rearview mirror. Take your crap, own it, push through it, and prevail! Because everything worth having is going to take work and determination and committment. And if you fall down, that's ok. What matters is that you pick yourself up again. So this week, I'm picking myself up and getting back to it.
And if I can, you can!
We've got this!
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