The choices we make

I remembered that I wanted my measurements done as I was walking to the car, leaving the Nutrition Open House and on my way to take my littlest to school. If I'm honest, after today's number's, I don't know if I want to know what they are! Hubby is home tonight, but for consistency I want  my coach

to take them, so I will try and remember to get her to take them tomorrow after Fit Club and I'll post them then. 

So that's last week in comparison to this week. *Insert whimper here* But then I knew that this was coming this week. My weekend was off. So the 2 lb gain isn't a surprise. It doesn't make me happy, mind you, but I am not abysmally disappointed by it. I would rather have been presently surprised to at least stay the same. But that's not how things work, so.... yeah.

I did have one of those moments today, where I had to be honest with myself and ask the hard question. I was having my snack this afternoon, 2 rice cakes with a couple oz of cheese on top, and I finished them all too quickly. And you know how you get when you haven't mentally prepared yourself for the last of your snack to be gone because you are sidetracked doing something else? And then your snack is gone and all you want is more snack? Well, that was me today and I got up and I was in the kitchen getting more rice cakes out when this thought popped into my head: "What is more important to you right now? The food or getting to your goals?" I'm not going to lie to you, I kinda really wanted those extra rice cakes and cheese, even though my head knew that cheese can be a BIG calorie hit if not properly portioned out. And I was even justifying to myself, "Oh, I'll do some working out this evening, it'll be fine. I know you can't out workout a bad diet, but it's not like I'm eating potato chips smothered in creamy cheese sauce." But when I got there I really thought about it. How much did seeing that rise in the scale suck for me? I wasn't happy about it. And what had caused it? Over indulgence. And what was this really? I didn't need the extra snack. I wanted it. But what was more important to me? Having the snack that tasted yummy right now? Or the results on the scale next week?

The true answer:  The results. My results were more important to me. I'd rather get to my goals then have more food. Yes, food is yummy. Yes, I love to eat yummy food. But isn't that what got me into this whole darned mess to begin with? It wasn't being pregnant with my kids! I slimmed right back down after my oldest. And then ate like absolute crap after and piled the weight back on. I lost a bunch again due to stress as my husband was in Afghanistan before we got pregnant with our second, but I fell into the same trap after. And then I just kept going! And before I knew it, I was almost 250 lbs!!! Do I want to go back to that? Do I want to give into the small temptation now after having already done so a couple of days ago and knowing that my numbers just reflected it? HELL NO!

Love my water with Mango Aloe

So I put the food away. And I grabbed my water bottle and filled it up and added a bit of Aloe and it is so yummy! I love the mango flavoured aloe and it makes drinking my water that little bit easier and it's just a better substitute. And you know what? I've had some of my water and about a half hour has gone by and I'm not hungry anymore. My body didn't actually need more food. I feel satisfied and not over stuffed, which I likely would have if I'd kept eating. So I'm glad that I chose to drink water instead of eating more. Because I'm happier now. It's that short term "pain" for long term gain. And I now have that pride in myself that I stuck to my plan. I had the chance to deviate and make another choice this week that would continue to keep me off track. And I made the choice to not. And if I keep making these kinds of choices and I keep on track with my nutrition plan those +2 lbs will be gone and they might even take a few friends with them. And how good I feel now will just double next week when my work this week reflects on the scale. And I know that it will reflect in those numbers. I know that there are numbers that I can definitely make a difference on. Even if the weight number doesn't go down, the muscle mass can do up. The body fat percentage can go down and the water can come up. Those are all things that I can have an effect on in the next week! Believe me, seeing that muscle mass go down those couple points hit hard. That was worse to me then the +2lbs. I need to up my game. The weight will come off with my nutrition plan. But my overall fitness and physique rating and muscle mass will not change without the fitness aspect. And being active totally helps burn extra calories.

I have a few things to do yet before I can hit my fitness hard again. My fabulous massage therapist has been working diligently with me, but there is only so much she can do to teach me how not to re-injure myself. The way my legs are puts me at a higher risk for injury. And that sucks, I'm not going to lie. But there are things that I can do, people I can see, that can help me make sure that I don't get injured again. And then there are different activities that I can do to up my fitness without putting that stress on my knees. And at some point I will be able to do what I could. Right now I can't even do the cardio I used to be able to do. But if I plan and work on it, I'll get there. And then I can use that 20% fitness to work along with my 80% nutrition and I will be where I want to be in no time. I don't know what my end goal is going to actually look like. And there is going to be things that are just not possible. My body is never going to be "perfect", because that just doesn't exist. But I want to get down to 175lbs. If I can get to 175lbs, a weight that I was happy with earlier in my life, then whatever the scale says after that, I don't care, so long as the muscle mass number goes up. So I have 13lbs to go before I focus on toning. Do you know how amazing that is?! To know that the number is that small?!?! If I hit it hard, I could do that by the end of 2015! That's within reach and so totally doable!

 I'm excited!! Are you excited? Because I'm OUT OF MY MIND EXCITED that I could be where I want to be in just 18 months from the very beginning!!

You know what? I just set a goal! I'm going to work for that! A scale that says 175lbs by Jan 1st, 2016. I'm going to get it! It's MINE!