So I know you've been hearing crickets from me over the past week. I'm not going to lie to you, I've been hiding from you. Why? Because when I feel like a hypocrite, I can't face people. That's the truth.
See, as an Herbalife Coach, it's my job to uplift and support and model the healthy active lifestyle. And I wasn't. My eating habits were all over the place. And it wasn't pretty. Sure I was eating "healthy" snacks, but over-indulging is over-indulging. If you're putting too many calories into your body, you're going to gain. That's just the way it works. And I was. There's a quote that says "What you eat in private, you wear in public." How true that really is. The scale reflected it.
Last week, I weighed in at 187lbs. 3lbs up. And it was not muscle mass gain! I actually lost muscle mass. it went down to 103. I was super depressed last week. And I couldn't bring myself to share. I was in a huge funk.
I took the opportunity and I reached out to a fellow coach.
After that last text, she called me. And then proceeded to jack me up about how giving up wasn't an option and I needed to stop thinking like that or I was going to self destruct. And she was right. I needed to get out of that head space. We had plans to hang out the next night anyway and we got the opportunity to just chat honestly about everything. We chatted about the good and the bad and I found that knowing that I wasn't alone in my struggles made me feel validated and that's all I really needed. I was able to boost the energy the next day and the momentum has kept me going!
Things are not always going to be sunshine and rainbows, but that's ok! And it's like that for everyone. But the point is, you have to stop focusing on the problem. And that's what I was doing. I was spending so much time focusing on what was wrong that I couldn't see a way out. And the longer I couldn't see a way out, the deeper into the funk I got. Know why? The law of attraction. Some people call it Karma. However you choose to describe it, the truth of it is the same: What you put out into the universe is what you will get back, be it positive or negative. All I needed to do was focus on the solution. If I focused on what could be done and what I wanted in the end, the problem essentially sorted itself out. And I am now a happier person ready to take on the world!
That being said, here are this week's pics:
I know, I had every intention of using the same clothing for every picture, but turned out there was a little hiccup with a company that is branding all my workout gear and in order to have some, I had to purchase a couple pieces more. There are worse things then buying more gym clothes!
I think I see, even with the 3lb gain, some change in shape. I know that I'd lost a few inches the weeks before, so that's exciting, right?
Maybe I'll get my measurements taken again tomorrow. I think every 2 weeks for those would be good. Now that I've hit the gym too, I look forward to seeing more definition and that muscle mass number going up!
Hi Monika! I've been reading your posts on Facebook and you should be super proud of yourself for all the work you've done... you've lost so much weight, which takes so much determination and a major lifestyle change which is no easy feat. I haven't struggled with my weight a lot but I have definitely struggled with a perfectionist mentality over the years regarding health and fitness, and I sympathise a lot with anyone who feels guilty and discouraged. IT makes me so sad to hear this because I know that feeling and it is no way to live! I think the key is to be gentle with yourself, and if you "fall of the wagon" so to speak, just get back up. Also, I would totally recommend reading the book "French women don't get fat". I mean, it was a super popular best seller years ago, and might sound a bit clichéd, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend following all her advice to the letter, but it's really just common sense framed in a way that kind of sinks in. Her advice really helped me regarding guilt and learning what works best for me, and learning how to not fall quite so far off the wagon, and how to reign myself in when need be without making too much of a drama out of it. Anyway. That's my two cents- not like you asked, but there it is. Oh, also, a couple more things: Changing habits is HARD, I know this from my own experience, and it is something that takes time, probably more time than we would like. And I think it is great, as a health coach, to share your journey and your imperfections with people. You are human and imperfection is normal, and BORING, and it's normal to have a setback now and again. It's much more encouraging to show people how as a regular human are changing habits over time. Sometimes a little weight gain along the way can be just the thing you need to motivate you to pay closer attention to how you are eating, and you could very well end up having a huge loss in a couple weeks. So take heart! You've come so far!
ReplyDeleteThanx so much for the encouragement! It is hard. And sharing the ups and downs and struggles is why I wanted to do this, so that people don't feel when they are struggling that they are alone. Because they're not. It's easy to make it look like everything is sunshine and roses, but that's not reality. And when you are being inundated from all sides with the need to be perfect, it can be hard to reach out and share that you are imperfect. So I hope that, if nothing else, people feel encouraged by the fact that struggles are real and they're not the only person going through them. I struggle too and its ok that it happens :)
DeleteNovember is always difficult for me with the different emotions it brings up being ex-military. And this journey is fairly new. I have to learn new ways to deal with things as the old ways got me where I started from. I appreciate your encouragement to be gentle with myself. It's something I'm not used to doing and it's taking time, but I'm getting to the point where I can give myself some leniency, not to make excuses for my mistakes, but to recognize that it's ok to make them so long as I learn from them. I need to treat myself with the same kindness I do my clients.
oops, i meant to say "perfection" is BORING not imperfection!
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